Permission to Pause
I’m convinced that I’ve teleported to this point in time here based on how fast this year has flown by. And yet, here we are. These last two months of the year always bring a bittersweet feeling for me. I love the weather, the holiday energy, and all the gatherings (especially the food!). But I also dislike the overwhelming self-inflicted pressure, sadness, and exhaustion that can sneak in. So, I want to share a few things that help me check myself before I wreck myself during this time of year.
At the top of my list is getting outside and reconnecting with nature. As a natural-born Florida girl, “nature” often means the beach or the swamp, both at 90 degrees and 100% humidity. South Florida culture leans more toward the bar scene rather than “let’s go on a hike” vibes. Thankfully, the holiday season brings perfect weather to get outside and soak up nature’s gifts.
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), spending just two hours per week outdoors can benefit both your physical and mental health. I like to start by placing my bare feet on the ground, releasing downward anything that doesn’t serve me, and allowing the earth to share its abundance of love upward and through me. It’s a time I become deeply aware of my presence and my place in this vast universe.
I notice the air passing through my nostrils, the sounds of animals scurrying and chirping, and the quiet that surrounds it all. Being in nature helps the nervous system decompress, lowers blood pressure, and promotes coherence (that beautiful alignment of mind, heart, spirit, and body). Sometimes I do this for five minutes in my backyard; other times, I’ll walk the nearby nature preserve or the beach if I have more time. Either way, it always gives me what I need, a moment to connect with miraculous me.
Another favorite practice of mine is a technique called a Heart Lock-In. In this technique, I imagine myself in nature to regulate my nervous system, then focus on my heart center as it beats.
With each deep inhalation, I recall my most joyful moment and mentally “take a picture” of it. (If you can’t remember a joyful past memory, imagine something in the future that would bring you joy.)
HeartMath experts recommend doing this three times per day for about five minutes. Over time, it trains your brain to recognize it has another option besides fight-or-flight. The benefit is that you can be in a stressful situation and make coherent choices in a matter of minutes. It gives you space to respond rather than react.
My third favorite tool is to practice grace and the power of presence. My personal motto: “If the bar is too high to dance on, lower it.” It’s easy to set sky-high expectations for the holidays. In my dream world, I want everyone I love, alive and passed on, to be with me. I want everyone to get along, drink moderately, avoid politics, have enough money for thoughtful gifts, enjoy perfectly wrapped presents and delicious catered food, stay rested, and somehow keep up with workouts.
Yeah… I said magic wand. Miracles do happen, but chasing your idea of perfection often steals the joy of simply being present. As Eckhart Tolle reminds us, “To be at one with life is to be at one with the present moment.”
This year, my youngest son has a soccer tournament over Thanksgiving weekend that conflicts with our usual plans. I hate changing plans, especially with my parents, it triggers that old story of being “selfish” or not thinking of others. In truth, I think about others so much it can make me sick.
Then my 10-year-old son, in his effortless wisdom, said, “Hey Mom, can we have Thanksgiving on another day? That way we can be with family and still go to the tournament.” Yes! That was exactly what I needed to hear: a reminder to give myself grace and permission to be present in all moments. The “bar” this time was the calendar, and guess what? We’re having Thanksgiving on Tuesday this year!
I choose grace and presence over “supposed to” expectations.
Nature. HeartMath. Grace and presence. These are my favorite tools to stay grounded and joyful during the holidays.
Try one, try all three, or find your own practices that bring you peace and share them with us on Instagram @youfirstnow. We’d love to hear from you.
Happy Holidays!
Xo, Elizabeth